The Barren Wife

“So when are you going to have a child?”

“Oh, you still don’t have kids?”

“I wish that GOD would open your womb.”

“I pray for you to experience having a child.”

Above are the questions and wishes I often heard whenever old and new acquiantances learns that my Husband and I are childless. And more often than not, the fault falls on me – without them knowing the real reason as to why we are on this situation.

At first, I was really affected. For years, I questioned GOD why he is not granting us a child so we can be a complete family. I even pass on opportunities for me to grow my career because of my dream of motherhood.

Then I became envious of my friends and colleagues who had kids. I became bitter towards life and later on, I became apathethic. Now, already in my early forties and having subject to various illnesses, I am no longer hoping to have a child.

I really thought I was way past those self pity phase. Until a couple of weeks ago, I heard my Father talking to my cousin and replying that my husband and I are childless. The pain seeps in again.

He never meant to be tactless and he was just answering a question. But the memories of being envious and bitter towards our situation freshened up again especially since we are on a long distance relationship past a decade already.

During this moment and in the past years of wallowing in self pity, I sought GOD and would often ask him to remind me always that I am loved and complete eventhough we are childless. After all, GOD is the only one who can complete us.

Isaiah 54:1

“Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child;
Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed;
For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous
Than the sons of the married woman,” says the Lord.

Galatians 4:27

For it is written,
“Rejoice, barren woman who does not bear;
Break forth and shout, you who are not in labor;
For more numerous are the children of the desolate
Than of the one who has a husband.”

13 thoughts on “The Barren Wife

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