I used to be the type of person who knows what to do in life … has direction, knows what she wants and has a plan…well at least, that’s what I thought I was two decades ago… now 42 years old, I am feeling the midlife crisis… the things I previously pursued and planned to do…I no longer want to continue no matter how much my husband and I spent…now, I feel like I wasted everything – the resources and time which GOD and my loved ones gave me and the opportunity that was given to me – so that I will be able to have a better life. Now, all of them are faded memories… why am I having these realizations now? because, apart from the fact that I am getting older …I envied my former co-workers and acquaintances whose lifestyles are much better than mine now …They who did not waste time and resisted the fear and apprehension that they have and faced the trials and challenges in their lives and confidently trusted in their abilities and to God.
Why is Fickle Minded the title of my entry today? because, that’s how I am …even my husband is going nuts with me because I constantly change my mind … I can blame other people, my past experiences and situations for where I am right now… but what good will it bring? now that I am getting older and I can only do so much, I hold on to God’s promise that he is faithful and never changes his mind and looks after me … even if I make mistakes and sin, he is always there for to me …I just need to always have time with him and put him first in all the things I do, so that, no matter how hard the challenges I will face, I will be able to make it.
2 Timothy 2:13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.
Psalms 119:90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast.