This is my first entry on this paid blog. While it has been years since I last blog, I am hoping I will be able to make this one. Well, what really push me to write this entry is what happened this morning: My Mother received a call from her brother from the province. She said he is worried about my grandfather. My grandfather was complaining about something and he could not understand him because my grandfather was already deaf and forgetful. My Uncle does not know how to help him. My Mother scold my uncle because she was worried too. The ending? She went home to their house, so that she could talk more to my uncle since the cellphone signal here in my place is not so good, And even if she does not say it, I know she misses my siblings and my father as well as my nephews and niece, because here in my place, there’s only two of us. She and my Father used to take turns to stay here with me since my siblings, whom I used to be with, had their own jobs and family. My husband, on the other hand, is working on a ship. Maybe next month he’ll return home. We don’t have children and I don’t know if we will have any because we are both old. I’ve always been like this, no permanent companion in our house… for many years… but lately, I can’t take it anymore … especially now that there’s this global pandemic… I feel sorry for myself … but during this time too, things became clear to me: I should not expect the people around me to be content staying here with me. In fact, I should not be dependent on other people. I also realized that the things I can buy and the career I pursue or passion that I thought would define me won’t actually give me the peace of mind and happiness I’m longing for… nothing and nobody can fill that gap in my heart but just one – GOD … I also realized while I was having a hard time making this entry and trace what my password is to this domain and blog host that I have not been writing for so long and postponed my promise to GOD that I will make this blog for him. GOD is very kind … very patient … he really waited for me … hopefully, this time around, I will be able to keep that promise … because, writing is not just therapy for a melancholic person like me but it is also a fulfillment of a promise … who knows, maybe because of my obedience to GOD, the void that I feel here in my heart will gradually be filled with good things coming from HIM…
Joel 2:13 ESV
And rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.
Psalm 103:8 ESV
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.