Jeprox

In the place where I live when I was a child, there is a narrow alley serving as a short cut to get to the next street. Back in grade school, we used to pass by it so we can immediately get to my parent’s home.

I must say that although it is a great help for us, more often than not, we find ourselves in trouble whenever we pass by it as the alley is full of neighbors doing their constant thing: gossiping, gambling, drinking which more often than not lead into brawling. Not to mention that there are stray dogs who would always love to chase those simple passersby.

As I grow older, that street became a favorite hang out for pick pockets and street dwellers whom you would sometimes get caught sniffing solvents.

In our life, there are times, when the going gets tough and we want to speed up things, we are forced to do “short cuts”. We find ourselves compromising our beliefs, our integrity. And more often than not, the ending is not good. We get ourselves into trouble for not sticking to the plan and persevering.

As they say, regret is always at the end. If we find ourselves in that situation, may we both learn to turn back and ask GOD for guidance so we would not be diverted again from the right path.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” – Matthew 7:13-14 NIV

Body & Soul

Do you find yourself planning to do things & actually wanting to put it into action only to end up accomplishing another which was totally out of your plans?

Have you experience making a ‘to do list’, reminding yourself always about it only to end up setting it aside because something came up and you forgot about the priorities you have for that day?

Do you felt having the rush to do a project only to proscrastinate about it later?

I do for all of the above. When I was younger, I was full of energy. I was so agressive. I cannot stay in a corner, if I do, I might get sick. A few people close to me would sometimes remind me to slow down and not rush into things.

As I grow older, I learned to relax, it do me good but as they say, too much of everything is not good. I relaxed too much and now I find myself being lazy to attend to the things requiring my immediate attention.

During the start of this pandemic, it only got worse as the people around me and myself are having unstable emotions. My daily dose of GOD’s words by reading the Bible, praying, reading & listening online devotionals, watching online mass and ecumenical shows helped me a lot to get the motivation I badly needed to keep going.

I am still a work in progress that’s why I always need GOD’s mercy each day.

Galatians 5:16-17 ESV

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”

Pearls and Pork

When I was younger, the motto “What you see is what you get” applies to me. I was so transparent that it was easy for people with hidden motives to abuse me. Of course, I often get hurt whenever I learned that I was only good as long as I have a use for them.

They say that a true friend is someone who stabs you at the front. I met a lot of them – who accepted me unconditionally and who really cares enough to be blunt to share their opinions whenever they see something that concerns me.

But sometimes, we tend to take for granted those genuinely caring people and in our desire to be accepted in different communities, we do silly things – including pretending to be someone we definitely are not.

This I did and like a doormat, I allowed myself to be trampled again to the point that I no longer recognize myself and I no longer know what I want in life.

As I grow older and became a wiser version of myself, I realized that if people really wanted you to be in their life, they will not only value you but will also placed you in the list of their priorities.

GOD values us so much. Shouldn’t we do the same to ourselves and to those people who’ve shown their respect to us?

Matthew 7:6

“Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

Kilometrico

When I was in grade school, I remember this advertisement in TV about a ballpen that has a good quality ink and can last a long time in writing.

A couple of years ago, prior to being married, when blogging was the most “in” thing, I started writing in a free website. The contents of my blog are mostly personal just like this one. The only difference is that back then I only wrote to share my experiences, my opinions without particular goal in mind – just to have myself heard.

Almost five years ago, I felt the nudge to write again but this time the goal was to share my experiences as to how I always get to “meet” GOD in everything I do everyday. Another three years past and I was able to subscribe to a paid website to reserve the blog name I have in mind – Passionalism.

For nearly two years the website subscription was dormant as I am having trouble how to squeeze in writing while holding a full time job and attending to my domestic roles (being a wife, a child to my parents, a sister to my siblings, an aunt, a trainor, a mentor, colleague and a friend).

Year 2020 came in and then we were hit by a global pandemic wherein majority of people undergo a lot of challenges and struggles – both personal and professional. Nearly all of us are in emotional state as we don’t know what the future would bring. I had to feed myself with GOD’s word by reading the Bible, having morning devotionals, praying at night, attending online mass, watching Pastor’s sermon on TV and a lot of things ecumenical to strengthen my spirituality.

Around this time, I felt the urge to materialize Passionalism and so by October I was able to start writing again. I was thinking that nobody would read this blog ‘coz they might find that the articles are a little bit old fashioned since I make it a point to put Bible verses on each articles that I write.

I was really surprised when I started receiving comments, as I am still holding a full time job, a lot of times, I have to delay reading and reviewing each comments. I thank GOD and all of you that you find my writing relatable. I apologized if I am not able to reply to your comments as I am still finding the perfect balance to do this passion of mine while attending to my full time job and to my domestic roles which I mentioned above.

I am still a neophyte blogger as I stopped writing for nearly half a decade. What sustains me to continue doing this passion is that I always pray to GOD to guide me as to what articles I should write and I also pray that it would always bring people back to him. Though I am still far from that, I pray that like the Kilometrico ballpen that we had during our grade school days, I will be able to write finely in the future and last a long time.

After all, my goal here is to share my experiences as to how I always get to “meet” GOD in everything I do everyday.

May GOD bless us all.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” – 1 Timothy 6:12 ESV

If the shoe fits

My Husband and I recently celebrated our wedding anniversary. Looking back, Never had I imagine that I will be his wife. But GOD has a special way of unifying two different people to create a beautiful music together.

I remember making a mental list of an ideal guy I wanted to marry wayback in high school days – asking GOD for the one that fits that description; and for a sign through a dream that the one that I’ve been waiting for has arrived.

As I reminisce, we’ve been a couple nearly five years before we tie the knot. Prior to that event, I dreamt of my husband (who was my boyfriend then) giving me the one thing that I asked GOD for as a sign that he will be the one that I will be marrying.

A couple of days after that dream, I mentally access the traits of my boyfriend versus the list of qualities of the guy that I asked GOD for as the one that I would be marrying and surprise! My then boyfriend (who is my husband now) fits the list perfectly!

Not only that, I had a conversation with him regarding the dream that I had previously without going to the exact details. And…another surprise! As he told me he had the same dream during that night and mentioned the exact thing he gave me on that dream, the sign that I was asking GOD for years ago for the guy that is meant to be my spouse.

Funny and incredible, huh? I must say we really are meant for each other.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”Genesis 2:18


“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”Matthew 19:4-6

Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.Genesis 2:23-24

Bloom or Gloom

Last month while spending time with my niece, I chance upon two consecutive weeks wherein the Holy Mass Homily centered on the parable of talents. The Priest’s sermon focused more on our accountability during the graduation day – the review of the life we had here on earth once we came face to face with GOD in heaven.

It bothers me because I have to admit that for decades I have been stagnant. GOD presented a lot of opportunities for me to use my talents and along with it the challenges and hidden provisions he longed to provide. But then, I choose to either ignore it, procrastinate, let fear overcome me and still proceed with the more familiar comfort zone wherein there is no growth.

Now as this year is about to end and the new year 2021 approaches, I can’t help but envy most of my acquaintances who are living their lives to the fullest – they chose to faced the struggles that came along with the blessings GOD gave them.

I can’t help but wonder if there is still enough time to fulfill GOD’s purposes for my life which I’m pretty sure will be for my own good and both our pleasures. As it has been my habit to read devotionals and the Bible whenever I have this ‘doubting’ episodes, I luckily stumble on these verse which I think meant to encourage me:

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.” – Romans 12:11 ESV

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.Proverbs 12:11 ESV

Connecting Dots

When I was a child, I enjoyed playing puzzles, one of them is connecting dots which will eventually lead you to decipher the hidden picture.

It exercises my mind and as I grow older, help me to be more analytical and intellectual. Because of this, I became a believer of the adage: “There are no accidents, everything happens for a reason”.

This year 2020 presented a lot of challenges for all of us. But if we will review some of the important events that occurred in our lives, we will see lessons, opportunities and even protection GOD sent for each one of us.

For me it would be that GOD made me realize that a simpler life is more beautiful, any excess won’t make my life more meaningful if HE is not the center of it; HE even answered my long time dream of working from home, HE provided blessings along the way and most of all – this blog had finally materialized.

That’s why when in doubt, this Bible Verse should pop up in our minds:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

“Whether for correction, or for His world,
Or for lovingkindness, He causes it to happen.
Job 37:13

The Mustard Seed of Faith

When I was younger, I use to believed the impossible. I used to daydream and always am unrealistic. In my excitement for the fulfillment of my dreams, I would often tell people around me about it even if I haven’t taken any steps towards it’s fulfillment.

Because of this, sometimes I would often find out that they have already stole my idea and were already ahead of me in making their dreams turn into reality. Other people would sometimes label me as ambitious. This has discouraged me a lot and slowly, I became in touch with the reality until I became the cynic version of myself.

Instead of becoming an encourager, I find myself discouraging other people to lived up to their dreams. I became stale and no longer interested in pursuing any growth opportunity.

However, this pandemic as I fight the anxiety, stress and fears for the widespread unknown future, I learned to trust GOD more. I cling more to him, spend time with him each day for me to survive. As I do so, he slowly showed me how he is gently changing me back to my original state – trusting and full of hope.

I learned that to be able to believe the impossible, we must accept it’s opposite – the possibility of things to become reality. GOD thought me that whenever I slowly face each fears with him, my faith is growing. Until the things I thought to be impossible is really possible – with HIM by our side.

Luke 18:27
But He said, “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.”

Matthew 17:20
And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.

The Barren Wife

“So when are you going to have a child?”

“Oh, you still don’t have kids?”

“I wish that GOD would open your womb.”

“I pray for you to experience having a child.”

Above are the questions and wishes I often heard whenever old and new acquiantances learns that my Husband and I are childless. And more often than not, the fault falls on me – without them knowing the real reason as to why we are on this situation.

At first, I was really affected. For years, I questioned GOD why he is not granting us a child so we can be a complete family. I even pass on opportunities for me to grow my career because of my dream of motherhood.

Then I became envious of my friends and colleagues who had kids. I became bitter towards life and later on, I became apathethic. Now, already in my early forties and having subject to various illnesses, I am no longer hoping to have a child.

I really thought I was way past those self pity phase. Until a couple of weeks ago, I heard my Father talking to my cousin and replying that my husband and I are childless. The pain seeps in again.

He never meant to be tactless and he was just answering a question. But the memories of being envious and bitter towards our situation freshened up again especially since we are on a long distance relationship past a decade already.

During this moment and in the past years of wallowing in self pity, I sought GOD and would often ask him to remind me always that I am loved and complete eventhough we are childless. After all, GOD is the only one who can complete us.

Isaiah 54:1

“Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child;
Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed;
For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous
Than the sons of the married woman,” says the Lord.

Galatians 4:27

For it is written,
“Rejoice, barren woman who does not bear;
Break forth and shout, you who are not in labor;
For more numerous are the children of the desolate
Than of the one who has a husband.”

Seasons

Ecclesiastes 3:1-5 (New International Version)

A Time for Everything

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.”

I always say that patience is not my virtue.

When I was younger, I was full of ambitions, full of dreams and sooo full of myself. More often than not, I would find ways to get what I want in life, even if that means I need to stomp on the rights of those people around me.

Because of this, they learned to hide from me the things which they think I should not know and eventually it lead to fall out. I had to be stuck in a ‘shelf’ for me to learn the repurcussions of my actions.

This pandemic has brought me to a lot of time to contemplate about those seasons in my life.

I realized that GOD was slowly answering my prayers in his own time and his own ways. A lot of my secret prayers were answered. I also learned that when he says No – it’s actually for my own good, that he wants me to wait for his perfect timing and not force things to happen in undue time.

As they say, if things were really meant to be, then It was really meant to do so in the first place.